Byakyuas secret passion
by mishatenshi
Summary: Something about Byakyua is bothering Renji. He's having a secret. What happens when Renji finds out?Pairing RenjixIchigo. People obsessed with Byakyua in an unhealthy way shouldn't read this fanfic, you might get offended.
1. The Secret's revealed

**Byakyuas secret passion**

Ever since the day Renji became fukutaichou he'd always tried to get under the skin of his mysterious taichou Kuchiki Byakyua, but it had always turned out like catching a really slippery fish. Lately, he'd almost begin to think that he's taichou had no feelings for real. Renji himself was a very emotional person, anyone that had ever tried to fight or know him had noticed. He was hot-tempered and really very sensitive under the façade he sat up with his tattoos and bandanas. Never had he even tried to be emotionless or ice cold as Byakyua. He knew it wasn't any point in it.

Renji's thoughts on how to get into Byakyuas head was empty. He didn't know what to do. He sat in his bed with a very troubled face as a shadow fell over him and a mocking, soft voice spoke.

"Heya, why sittin' here all alone lookin' depressed. Thought I'd leave ya'?"

Renji raised his head and gave his boyfriend a sad look.

"No…it's Byakyua. He worries me." Renji said quietly.

Kurosaki Ichigo sat down beside him and put his arms around him, softly speaking into his ear.

"So, you're thinking more about other guys than me. Makes me sad, ya' know…" Ichigo giggled, blowing hot air into his ear, gently touching his earlobe with his soft lips.

Normally this would've made him go out of his head, but it just made him irritated. He pushed Ichigo and lied down on the bed, giving out a loud sigh. Ichigo lay down beside him and held him tight, kissing his chin.

"Well…you know I'm no good at persons feelings n' stuff. Perhaps you should ask the other taichous that have known Byakyua for centuries" Ichigo suggested.

Of course! That was a really good way! Renji almost bounced out of the bed, giving Ichigo a kiss before he ran out of the room.

Ichigo smiled, his eyes wanting more than a simple kiss…

"…no point in tryin' to know people, ya' know. Fight 'em 's the only way" Zaraki Kenpachi-taichou of 11th squad said.

"Wha don' yo' tly give 'im candy?" Zarakis fukutaichou Yachiru said cheerfully with a big lollipop in her mouth.

Useless! Byakyua was much stronger than him, he'd noticed on several occasions. Candy? What a silly idea, everybody knew Byakyua was on a diet.

"Well…um…thanks, but, I don't think neither of those ideas is a good way, you know" Renji scratched his chin and turned to go to the 4th divisions headquarters.

"Oy! If you ever wanna get a good fight, ya' know I'm here to kill ya'!" Kenpachi yelled after him.

Renji just waved his hand, he knew that was the insane taichous way of comforting. Geez, he thought to himself, I must really look depressed!

Entering the 4th divisions main house he met chaos. Hantarou was running around trying not to spill anything from the glasses he had on a tray. Other shinigamis was running around trying to avoid the stumbling Hantarou. Renji got by as gracefully as possible when a bunch of idiots where running around like crazy chickens. He opened the door to Unohanas office. As usually she sat peacefully on the floor drinking tea with her fukutaichou.

"Oh, Renji, welcome, please sit down. You want some tea? You look really troubled!" Unohana looked worried.

"No thanks, but I've got a problem, thought you might be able to help me…" Renji asked quietly.

He told them about the problem, but of course he didn't get any good answers.

Unohana just told him that Byakyua was a really hard nut to crack and that he perhaps should try to step back, waiting for him to come to Renji.

As if! Do stones walk?

Even more depressed, he went to the 10th divisions' quarters. Perhaps Ukitake-taichou was there trying to give Hitsugaya-taichou candy. That was always somehow entertaining. As if Renjis' thoughts had come true he found Hitsugaya-taichou in a corner, completely covered in different sorts of candy with a really happy Ukitake-taichou standing beside him with a big smile on his face. Hitsugayas' fukutaichou Matsumoto sat in Hitsugayas chair drinking sake, looking like she was going to pass out any second.

"Heey! It's a red spot in all the white…" Matsumoto mumbled, starting to giggle hysterically, almost falling of the chair.

Ukitake and Hitsugaya turned their attention towards Renji. Hitsugayas annoyed, boyish face turned serious, almost looking like a grown mans. He spoke up with his almost womanly-voice.

"Renji Abarai, what brings you here?"

Renji felt embarrassed. It must've been an annoying situation for the short, white-haired taichou to be found buried in candy.

"What should you do to really get to know a persons feelings…?" Renji decided to ask the question straight ahead, without any hesitation. It seemed to be the best thing to do.

The room was quiet for a moment before Matsumoto spoke.

"Ah…probs with ya' boy? I know the answer…" Matsumoto smiled mysteriously as Renjis face turned as red as his hair. "Get ya' clothes off and embrace him, that's what I'd do!"

She fell of the chair for real and continued her hysterical laughter.

"It's not about Ic…a boy" (how the hell did Matsumoto know about that by the way, Ichigo had sworn to keep it a secret, Renji too). "It's about Byakyua".

Matsumoto went quiet and the two white-haired taichous raised their eyebrows after hearing the conversation.

"Invite him to a ménage-a-trois!" Matsumoto almost screamed in her drunken voice.

"DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE I WANT TO DIE? Now, please shut that pie-hole of yours, baka ona!" Renji looked like a tomato with constipation.

Ukitake spoke, probably gotten the whole situation wrong. " Try to be kind and open, not too open and do not reveal too much of your feelings either. Don't try to openly show your feelings and do not do something like what Matsumoto just suggested and"…he coughed hard "give him some flowers!"

Renji sighed and was just a second from totally explode when Hitsugaya gave him his point of view.

"Uh…I don't know what to say…I…eh…don't have the…experience required. But I and Byakyua are kinda alike sometimes, so try to be as cold as him. That might…err…make him like you".

Renji didn't believe his ears. Hitsugaya in a pile of candy saying such things. It was hilarious! Ridiculous! He didn't know what to say…really. So he just walked out of the room, deciding to head back to the 6th divisions headquarters.

Depressed, he walked without seeing and bumped into someone. It was Mayuri-taichou of 12th division.

"Watch where you're going, Abarai! It's really annoying having people bumping into you when you're in a hurry"

Renji decided to ask Mayuri too. It couldn't hurt anyway.

"Well, if you sedate him we could bring him into my lab and I could do a scan on his brain. It could turn out interesting, really…" Mayuri smiled his usual psycho-scientist-smile.

"No, Byakyua got bad insomnia, bet he wouldn't fall asleep with usual sedation. Thanks anyway".

Renji returned to the headquarters. As he walked down the corridor towards his room, he passed a closed door with a sign on it that said "STOP! No entry whatsoever, the one that enter will encounter the wrath of Senbonzakura"

He stopped for a moment. That sounded weird. And somewhat familiar. Why would his taichou have a room that no one was supposed to enter, except his private rooms? It'd mean a secret, and that would probably mean some kind of feelings. Renji walked towards the door, his heart throbbing and sweat broke onto his forehead. He put a shaking hand onto the doorknob. Probably it would be locked. He pressed down and the door slowly opened.

Why wasn't it locked?

The tattooed, muscular redhead face had an expression which was indescribable, a mixture of joy, worry and horror. His body shook with silent laughter. So **this** was the room that his taichou had forbidden anyone to visit. He understood why now.

The room was all pink and filled with fluffy things. It was dolls and teddies everywhere. In the middle of the room was a small, pink, child-sized sofa, in which his taichou sat. In front of him was a really small table, also pink with a tiny, tiny set of teacups and a teapot. All around him was dolls and teddies neatly seated. It was a tea party. Godammit, his taichou smiled at the dolls.

"You want some more tea, Ms. Cupcake? Perhaps a cookie, Mr. Sunnydale?" His taichou giggled like a child, pouring some more "tea" in one of the cups.

Renji took a deep breath, trying to sneak out of the room, quietly, but it was too late. Byakyua raised his head and an expression of guilt and an enormous wrath took over the former smiling, beautiful face.

The sight of it made Renji awfully scared. His sight began to blur as his tense mind and tired body couldn't take it anymore. He fainted, collapsing onto the furry, light pink on the floor of his taichous playhouse.


	2. Imprisoned

Damn! Byakyua was hysteric. What to do? Renji'd seen him! Someone had seen him, sitting with his friends in his secret room, it wasn't even just someone, it was Renji, dammit! Thoughts swirled around at an insane pace in Byakyuas head. Anger, disappointment, disbelief, sadness, angst, he felt it all at the same time. What was he supposed to do now? What if this secret came out…he would have to commit seppuku. His life would be ruined. Not even Rukia would respect him.

He hugged Mr. Sunnydale tightly as tears flooded his eyes. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. Byakyua hesitated when putting the key to the door in the locker. Perhaps this wasn't the right thing to do, but it was the only solution for now.

Renjis head ached. He got up on an elbow, slowly opening his eyes. His sight was a bit blurry after the fall.

"Seems like I took a pretty bad fall there…but hey, what did happen anyway? I remember leaving Ichi…WHAT THE? What is this? Have I fallen asleep in Yachirus room or what? Gaah, where am I?"

An additional number of dolls and teddybears surrounded Renji, all staring at him with their cold, glass eyes. Renji panicked, rushing towards the door of the unbelievable pink room. He almost reached it when he fell.

"Nani? I fell again? Aouch, my leg…no time! Gotta' get out of here, these damn toys really freak me out! Gosh, I HATE plushies!"

Renji sat up, only to see that his leg was locked tight to a thick chain which was attached to the wall at the other side of the room. He was trapped. In a pink room. With a hell lot of plushies and toys. Renji started to scream hysterically. He had a certain phobia towards toys, especially girlish toys like these. Automatically he moved his hand towards his hip and Zabimaru, but when he tried to grab the hilt, all he was grabbing was some sort of fluffy fabric. He looked down, and the hysteric screams turned unbelievable high-pitched. Then he passed out again.

He woke up by someone poking him in the side, pretty hard. It was Byakyua. What was Byakyua doing here? Was he dreaming?

-Ku-Kuchiki-taichou….taskete!

Byakyua smiled strangely at him.

- Blame yourself for being so damn curious. I brought you some food, _hime-chan._

Byakyua turned his back to Renji (in that dramatic way that only guys with hairnoodles and scarves can do) and walked out the door. The sound of a key turning in the locker. Then silence fell. Renji didn't understand anything. Why was he in this room? How did he get here? Why did Byakyua come to feed him? And…worst of all; why did he wear some sort of princess/doll dress? It was pink too, so it didn't even suit his hair. Suddenly he felt that he was incredibly hungry. He took the plate that Byakyua had put in front of him. He sighed. Great, wasn't this just great? Pink-coloured onigiri in the shape of Chappy the Bunny, cotton candy (also pink), cookies and pink lemonade…what kind of sick joke was this? And in which way was Byakyua involved?

"He really sounded angry when he left me the food" Renji chew on some cotton candy "What'd I do to him? We've actually been getting along pretty well the last week…if I only could remember what happened!"

Renji was suddenly feeling tired, really tired and really sad. He crept up in a corner where there wasn't as many toys as in the rest of the room, resting his head against his knees.

"I wish Ichigo was here to rescue me…."

-------------------

Byakyua rubbed his lobes. It was really hard to do everything related to the 6th squad without Renji. Sorting all the mail, writing all reports, go get tea by himself…and he couldn't even go and find some peace of mind in his secret room. He really missed Mr. Sunnydale and all his other friends. He was getting bored of everything again, as always when he didn't get his daily dose of fluff and pink. Although, the thought of Renji in that dress that the Quincy sew as a love gift for Byakyua a while ago was rather amusing. This still didn't give him any peace, he just got more restless, so he decided to go and pay Renji a visit, perhaps he was able to figure out what to do with him.

END OF CHAPTER II

This chapter is shorter than and not as funny as the previous one (well, at least I think so). That might be because I have sort of a lack of ideas right now, so if anyone would like to help me with ideas on what's gonna happen next, I'd be more than happy !


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